Hamburgler: Someone that orders hamburger (or pizza) at any restaurant. The dedication to these American classics is patriotic but sure to cast an embarrassing, IQ lowering black cloud over your intended intellectual lunch. Hamburgler passes on pasta at the Italian bistro for pizza and gets the burger instead of burnt ends at the world famous BBQ spot. Hamburgler is psychologically profiled as a conservative, stubborn short sighted, adventuress lovable drone.
Chicken Finger Chic: “Hamburglers” little sister will order this Junior High cafeteria fav everywhere, including seafood restaurants and 5star fine dining halls. A greasy batch of these deep fried filets coupled with a towering dipper of Honey Mustard pacifies this narrow palleted lady for the entire course. You can talk her into a bite of your savory dish but expect a wretched sour faced response.
Crossing The Streams: This Ghostbusters inspired term is used to describe the combination of foods that don’t necessarily go together, despite the best intentions and execution. Crossing The Streams results can often be anticipated but can also occur in the most unpredictable combinations.
HotPlot: The diner that thinks everything is spicy, despite the lack of any hot ingredients. All BBQ sauces are too hot for this dainty diner and all known salsas induce panic.
WrongWayDiner: This diner does it all wrong, every time, in everyway. The WrongWayDinner has the oddest of pallets. Ketchup on eggs, cheese on fish, well done steak, nothing is off limits for this lovable train wreck that can ruin a meal seemingly with their presence alone.
PlaterHater: This meal guest uses the term “hate” to describe all their food aversions. I hate onions, I hate sushi, Etc. Their hate speach is endless and envied by dictators and hate groups everywhere.
Jailed By Booth: You haven’t misbehaved but your getting a 1-hour timeout in a wooden box when your seated at a booth. No bathroom breaks for those pinned down in the dreaded inner seat, but plenty of footsy is available as you tangle feet with your cross table rival. A pleather fort might be fun in other situations but not when you want to people watch or soak in the atmosphere of the restaurant. The only time adults should be seated shoulder to shoulder without the ability to stand up is on a roller coaster or prison.
ChipperClipper: This discount hound has many weapons in their arsenal including classic coupons, GoldC Booklets, MajorSaver punch cards and Groupons. This thrifty patron zaps all the fun from dinning by undermining freedom when you realize at the end of the meal that your restaurant was selected because they had a coupon that was going to expire soon.
Tapper: The beverage industry is a billion dollar market but they won’t get a dollar from this water fan. This diner orders water with meals, and lots of it. Minimalism at its finest when this water buffalo wades thru the marsh for a drink from the rain barrel at your meal. Nothing pairs better with a meal than the drinking fountain.
LemonTapper: Instead if ordering lemonade you found a way to embezzle a free beverage by ordering water with lemon slices at the meal. LemonTapper has found a way to get free citrus, a free drink and increase local small business operating expenses all at the same time.
Traveler: You might have dined in, but your taking this lunch experience on the road by asking for a to-go drink after the meal. A to-go drink order is kinda brilliant and it is certainly fun to see what you can get away with. But, your cheap, and you have taken cheap techniques to a new level. Might as well take home leftovers from a buffet or steal the salt @ pepper shakers with this line if thinking.